Carseat Trouble
by Himemiya Inari
Summary: Oneshot. The YYH gang goes on a random road trip and Hiei's height or lack there of gets the better of him.


Nightmare: Ooh, this'll be fun! Torture! Torture! Tor--

Hiei: Would you shut up?

Nightmare: You don't tell me to shut up, I tell YOU to shut up! I created you, I can destroy you! AHAHAHA!

Hiei: You didn't create us! Yoshihiro Togashi did!

Nightmare: Well, it's MY Torture Chamber... Er... I mean Fanfic.

Hiei: ...

Nightmare: Whatever, on with the product of my boredom!

* * *

"Okay, everyone! Start packing your stuff into the car!" Botan said cheerfully.

"Uh huh… Um, where are we going again?" Yusuke asked as he dragged his suitcase out the door.

Botan paused for a moment, "Not sure!"

Yusuke sighed as Kurama and Kuwabara made their way through the door. Hiei was leaning against the large car's side, ignoring all that was going on.

"Hey!" Kuwabara shouted, "Where's Yukina?"

"Oh, she and Keiko have already left. We're going to meet them there," Botan replied.

Yusuke stopped, "What? What do mean? Didn't you just say you didn't know where we were going!"

Botan simply blinked at him, "…They have cell phones." Yusuke didn't respond. He just shook his head and resumed packing. Kurama finished loading his luggage into the car, along with Kuwabara's, who had become too distraught with having to deal with Yukina's absence for more than five minutes.

"Hiei, aren't you coming?" Kurama asked.

Hiei shifted only slightly, "Do I have a choice?"

"Nope!" Botan grabbed Hiei's arm and shoved him into the back seat and shut the door, leaving only the sound of his muffled curses.

"Well, that answers that question…" Kurama said quietly, scratching his head.

"Are we all packed?" Botan asked.

"I believe so," Kurama said as he climbed into the passenger seat.

"Oh good!" Botan seated herself on the driver's side.

"Wait, we have to sit in the back with… Oh boy…" Kuwabara mumbled.

"Yup! It was nice knowin' ya, Kuwabara!" Yusuke slapped Kuwabara on the shoulder and went around to take his seat.

Kuwabara muttered to himself and opened the door on the opposite side. He began to sit down, and Hiei shut the door. "OW! ACK! DAMN YOU, YOU STUPID LITTLE… AH! Ow… ow… ow ow…" Kuwabara whimpered.

"Hn. What's your problem?" Hiei asked coldly.

"You… you shut the door… on my hand… you… little… MUTANT!" Kuwabara growled.

"Really," Hiei smirked, "Was your hand severed?"

"No, I think it's oka—"

"Damn. I was rather hoping you'd bleed to death."

Kuwabara glared at him, "You're sick, you know that?" Kuwabara grasped his hand in pain and mumbled to himself. Hiei just shook his head and resumed being his normal anti-social self.

After a few minutes in the car, Kuwabara popped up again, "Can I ask a stupid question?"

"Oh, so you need permission now?" Hiei sneered.

Kuwabara tried to ignore Hiei, along with the urge to punch him. Botan answered, "What, Kuwabara?"

"How come you get to drive?"

The car jerked slightly. Yusuke looked over at him, "Moron…"

"I'm technically the only one old enough to drive," Botan said.

"What about Hiei?" Kuwabara asked.

There was a long pause.

"Hiei'd kill everything," Yusuke said simply. Everyone looked at Hiei, who had a strange, maniacal look in his eyes, paired with a frightening grin.

"Great. You gave him ideas…" Kuwabara said uneasily as he shifted away from Hiei.

Soon after, they could hear the siren of a police car behind them. "Uh oh," Botan said as she pulled over. The car stopped next to them and a police officer stepped out and came up to the window. "Hello, officer!" Botan chimed.

"Hello… Do you know how fast you were going?"

"Um… Well, uh…"

"Too fast."

"Evidently…" Hiei mumbled. This turned the officer's attention towards him. They stared at each other for a while. "…What?"

"How old is he?" The officer asked Botan.

"How… old?" She turned to Kurama, who simply shrugged, "We're… not sure…"

"Not sure. How tall is he?"

"Er… four foot ten I think… Right, Hiei?" Botan said, turning to Hiei. He just stared in the emotionless way that he always did.

"What? This kid should be in a carseat!"

"A what!" Hiei growled. He turned to Yusuke, "Move." Yusuke blinked and had a look of complete and utter confusion, but did as he was told. Hiei stepped out of the car. "First of all, I am NOT a kid!"

"I'm going to have to ask you to stay in the vehicle…"

Kuwabara leaned over to Yusuke, "Is this legal?" Yusuke shrugged.

"You listen to me, you—"

The officer cut him off, "I think I have a spare carseat in the trunk of my car. Let me get it and I'll install it for you." He opened the trunk of the police car and started to look for the carseat.

"You imbecile! I'll rip you limb from--"

"Hiei," Kurama interrupted, "Don't… don't do anything… illegal…"

The officer brought the carseat and began to put it in the back seat. When he was finished, he then made an attempt to pick Hiei up and force him into the carseat.

"What are you DOING!" Hiei tried to wriggle out of the officer's grasp. When he failed, he sank his slightly fanged teeth into his hand, drawing blood.

"AAH!" The officer dropped Hiei, "You little…"

Hiei grinned, "I. Win." He dusted himself off and started to climb into the car.

The officer yelled after him, "I ought to arrest you, you little monster!"

Hiei's reply was tossing the carseat out of the car at the officer. It struck him in the gut and he doubled over. "But I'm only a kid. I don't know any better."


End file.
